Martha My Dear

Faithful readers may be wondering about my bag that I lost on the train. Here's the deal. I called the lost and found, on Wednesday, and a girl named Gretchen answered.
"Hi, I lost a laptop bag on the light rail last night. It's bla bla bla bla bla."
"Ok, let me go check the lost and found."
I then waited on hold for like ten minutes while a recording detailing the ongoing labor disputes among transportation workers played on repeat.
Finally, a real voice:
"Hi, this is Gretchen, can I help you?"
"Umm, I talked to you a few minutes ago about a bag?"
"Oh sorry, I totally got distracted. I didn't see your bag."
I was picturing her coming upon all the forgotten action figures that kids leave between the cushions on all the buses in the Phoenix metro area.
"Ok," I said, "'Thanks.'" (note the quotes within quotes. I was doing those with my fingers.)
"Yeah, call back tomorrow."

So I did.

Ringing, ringing. Guy picks up. Please hold. Labor disputes. Labor disputes. Labor disputes.


Labor disputes.




Labor disputes.

He never returned. For all I know, he could still be looking. I'm hoping for a call back someday.

"Martha My Dear" was written by Paul McCartney about his dog, an Old English Sheepdog. McCartney is the only Beatle to appear on this track, which makes up for "She Said She Said," on which he didn't appear at all.