Martha My Dear

Faithful readers may be wondering about my bag that I lost on the train. Here's the deal. I called the lost and found, on Wednesday, and a girl named Gretchen answered.
"Hi, I lost a laptop bag on the light rail last night. It's bla bla bla bla bla."
"Ok, let me go check the lost and found."
I then waited on hold for like ten minutes while a recording detailing the ongoing labor disputes among transportation workers played on repeat.
Finally, a real voice:
"Hi, this is Gretchen, can I help you?"
"Umm, I talked to you a few minutes ago about a bag?"
"Oh sorry, I totally got distracted. I didn't see your bag."
I was picturing her coming upon all the forgotten action figures that kids leave between the cushions on all the buses in the Phoenix metro area.
"Ok," I said, "'Thanks.'" (note the quotes within quotes. I was doing those with my fingers.)
"Yeah, call back tomorrow."

So I did.